Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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