Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ruined the universe
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
