There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
