She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
