I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
where are you?
Hypothermia
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
