Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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