I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
