youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
