I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
