Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
