Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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