Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
