i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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