My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
