You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
