How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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