THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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