So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
