I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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