I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
