I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
