My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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