Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
