The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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