I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
