Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
