Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
