I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I AM VODKA MAN
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
