He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
