ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
