Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
