i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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