mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
