she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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