is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
