Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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