the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
