3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
