Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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