the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
