who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
