And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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