I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Two words: nipple clamps
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