my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
