i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
