i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize