im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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