It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
