let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
