i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize