how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we made out on top of his cat.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize