And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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