I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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