wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
