My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize