every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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