***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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