im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
