We're facebook friends in real life
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
