I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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