singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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