I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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