True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
