I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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