i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
