Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
