Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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