she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
