friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize