I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize