Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
