So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
