Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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