Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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