so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
