He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
