ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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