at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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