ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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