If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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