Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
