they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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