Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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