We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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