Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize