im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
